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Steps to get divorced after infidelity

divorce tips strategiesTips for divorce after an affair

Tips for divorce after an affair

If you’re really looking to screw over your spouse after they cheated on you then take a click on the link to the other article. This article is more for spouses whose marriages have sort of run their course and now they’re looking to move on with their lives and start a new chapter.

Divorce after infidelity

The trick to ending a marriage amicably after an affair is communicating with the spouse about your needs for a relationship and how you don’t feel the same way about the marriage as you did in the beginning. While this information is difficult to hear, you really don’t want to be running around behind their back, organizing clandestine encounters, and confabulating elaborate lies. The aforementioned tactics are the things that hurt the most, so if you want to separate amicably then none of those things are going to be the kind of stuff that you want to do.

A lot of times what happens in marriages is that the flame burns brightly at the beginning, you have a few kids, and by the end of it all you’re wondering where the years went. The kids are off at college or starting lives of their own and you’re stuck in the house with the same person you’ve been stuck in the same house with for over 20 years. There’s nothing intrinsically wrong with this. You’ve had a good run together, raised some beautiful children, and now you want to go your separate ways and start a new chapter and see what else life has to offer.

Tips for getting an amicable divorce

Don’t let the lawyers run the show

Even though both parties are going to need to get a lawyer, you don’t want the lawyer running the show. Why? Because lawyers work for money and the larger the settlement that they can arrange for you and the more billable hours that they can accrue translate into more money for them. So, basically, they have a vested interest in prolonging the divorce for as long as possible and making it as senselessly ugly as they can.

You’re going to want to keep them in check, because if you don’t they’re going to drag your ex’s name through the mud and make the situation about a million times worse. The key to all this is that even though you’re no longer in love, you still must remember that you respect one another, even if they cheated on you, or you on them.

So it’s not just about how to get the divorce, it’s how to get an amicable divorce.

Don’t put the kids in the middle

Kids have a tendency to moralize on their parents because their parents have spent a lifetime teaching them morals, and frankly, that’s annoying. So the kids are going to want to side with you, or whoever was cheated on, and say that parent is bad, amoral, and should have never done that to you. You’re going to want to make certain that they know that the marriage was over well before the infidelity and that you don’t harbor any grudges toward the ex for trying to get something out of a relationship that they weren’t getting from your relationship. Now that you’re divorced you’re going to be out there doing the same thing, so it’s unfair for them treat your ex like that.

How to get divorced after an affair

divorce tips cheatingTips for getting a divorce

Divorce tips after infidelity

If you’re at the point where you just can’t stand them anymore and you really want your marriage to be over following an affair then divorce may be your best option. Even in places with no-fault divorce there are going to be several actions you want to initiate as soon as you’ve made your decision. The fact the divorce is in direct response to an affair can work to your advantage legally. So here is what you should do.

Tips for getting a divorce after an affair

If cheating was the major motivating factor for getting the divorce then these steps are going to be crucial in getting a favorable outcome.

Hire a lawyer

The first thing you’re going to need to do is hire a lawyer. In fact, you’re going to want to talk to several even before you make your intentions known to your spouse. You’re in fact going to want to find all of the divorce lawyers you can and give each of them a call. Why? Because once you’ve spoken to these lawyers concerning your divorce they cannot be hired by your ex as it would be a conflict of interest for the lawyer. In other words, your ex will not be able to themselves hire any lawyer that you yourself have spoken with concerning the divorce. So the more lawyers you speak with, the less options they have available to them.

Find out what your spouse earns annually

You’re going to want to present this information to your lawyer and your spouse may have a vested interest in hiding income from you as you are going through the divorce. So find a pay stub, tax return, or get a bank statement that tracks deposits going back at least a year and you should be good.

Make photocopies of everything and present those to the lawyer you choose to have handle your case. You should do all of this before you announce your plans to divorce your husband or wife and if you’ve discovered that they have been unfaithful to you then you should forestall telling them that you’re aware of the infidelity for as long as humanly possible so that they aren’t suspicious of your collecting of information.

Keep a record of non-liquid assets

Anything that is valuable enough should be appraised and that information should be collected and given to the lawyer. The house, the cars, jewelry, literally anything with a dollar amount attached to it can be leverages during the divorce.

Figure out how much it costs to run your household

Again, this will take time, but it’s important that you don’t fly off the handle immediately after learning about the affair. You want to bide your time, and if you really want to stick it to the cheating spouse, you’re going to have to collect a lot of information.

Save money

During this period you’re going to want to save as much money as possible and store it away. You also will want to withdraw money from your bank and drain any personal account you might have.

Divorce after an affair

If these tactics sound harsh it’s because they are. This is hardball, so if you want to end the marriage amicably after the affair, then this isn’t going to be valuable information for you, but if you’ve had enough with the BS and want to stick it to the spouse, you’re going to want to take these steps and bide your time.