If you're at the point where you just can't stand them anymore and you really want your marriage to be over following an affair then divorce may be your best option. Even in places with no-fault divorce there are going to be several actions you want to initiate as soon as you've made your decision. The fact the divorce is in direct response to an affair can work to your advantage legally. So here is what you should do.
Tips for getting a divorce after an affair
If cheating was the major motivating factor for getting the divorce then these steps are going to be crucial in getting a favorable outcome.
Hire a lawyer
The first thing you're going to need to do is hire a lawyer. In fact, you're going to want to talk to several even before you make your intentions known to your spouse. You're in fact going to want to find all of the divorce lawyers you can and give each of them a call. Why? Because once you've spoken to these lawyers concerning your divorce they cannot be hired by your ex as it would be a conflict of interest for the lawyer. In other words, your ex will not be able to themselves hire any lawyer that you yourself have spoken with concerning the divorce. So the more lawyers you speak with, the less options they have available to them.
Find out what your spouse earns annually
You're going to want to present this information to your lawyer and your spouse may have a vested interest in hiding income from you as you are going through the divorce. So find a pay stub, tax return, or get a bank statement that tracks deposits going back at least a year and you should be good. Make photocopies of everything and present those to the lawyer you choose to have handle your case. You should do all of this before you announce your plans to divorce your husband or wife and if you've discovered that they have been unfaithful to you then you should forestall telling them that you're aware of the infidelity for as long as humanly possible so that they aren't suspicious of your collecting of information.
Keep a record of non-liquid assets
Anything that is valuable enough should be appraised and that information should be collected and given to the lawyer. The house, the cars, jewelry, literally anything with a dollar amount attached to it can be leverages during the divorce.
Figure out how much it costs to run your household
Again, this will take time, but it's important that you don't fly off the handle immediately after learning about the affair. You want to bide your time, and if you really want to stick it to the cheating spouse, you're going to have to collect a lot of information.
During this period you're going to want to save as much money as possible and store it away. You also will want to withdraw money from your bank and drain any personal account you might have.
Divorce after an affair
If these tactics sound harsh it's because they are. This is hardball, so if you want to end the marriage amicably after the affair, then this isn't going to be valuable information for you, but if you've had enough with the BS and want to stick it to the spouse, you're going to want to take these steps and bide your time.