If you're really looking to screw over your spouse after they cheated on you then take a click on the link to the other article. This article is more for spouses whose marriages have sort of run their course and now they're looking to move on with their lives and start a new chapter.
Divorce after infidelity
The trick to ending a marriage amicably after an affair is communicating with the spouse about your needs for a relationship and how you don't feel the same way about the marriage as you did in the beginning. While this information is difficult to hear, you really don't want to be running around behind their back, organizing clandestine encounters, and confabulating elaborate lies. The aforementioned tactics are the things that hurt the most, so if you want to separate amicably then none of those things are going to be the kind of stuff that you want to do. A lot of times what happens in marriages is that the flame burns brightly at the beginning, you have a few kids, and by the end of it all you're wondering where the years went. The kids are off at college or starting lives of their own and you're stuck in the house with the same person you've been stuck in the same house with for over 20 years. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with this. You've had a good run together, raised some beautiful children, and now you want to go your separate ways and start a new chapter and see what else life has to offer.
Tips for getting an amicable divorce
Don't let the lawyers run the show
Even though both parties are going to need to get a lawyer, you don't want the lawyer running the show. Why? Because lawyers work for money and the larger the settlement that they can arrange for you and the more billable hours that they can accrue translate into more money for them. So, basically, they have a vested interest in prolonging the divorce for as long as possible and making it as senselessly ugly as they can. You're going to want to keep them in check, because if you don't they're going to drag your ex's name through the mud and make the situation about a million times worse. The key to all this is that even though you're no longer in love, you still must remember that you respect one another, even if they cheated on you, or you on them. So it's not just about how to get the divorce, it's how to get an amicable divorce.
Don't put the kids in the middle
Kids have a tendency to moralize on their parents because their parents have spent a lifetime teaching them morals, and frankly, that's annoying. So the kids are going to want to side with you, or whoever was cheated on, and say that parent is bad, amoral, and should have never done that to you. You're going to want to make certain that they know that the marriage was over well before the infidelity and that you don't harbor any grudges toward the ex for trying to get something out of a relationship that they weren't getting from your relationship. Now that you're divorced you're going to be out there doing the same thing, so it's unfair for them treat your ex like that.
